


It had to be done.

by marysuepoots



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, ep 5x14, ep 5x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 14:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14215281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marysuepoots/pseuds/marysuepoots
Summary: Daisy struggles with the aftermath of 5x14, between dealing with the physical pain, the weight of leadership and a missing Phil Coulson.





	It had to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> Just what I imagine happened between the episodes 5x14 and 5x15. The Robbie moment is an added bonus (the writers don't like us THAT much).

Daisy felt numb. The rift was closed, her powers were back and she just felt…drained. Her neck hurt, she hadn’t had time to fix it before going down to close the rift and now it was bleeding over her shirt again.

She should do something about that.

She should also find out if Mack’s okay, she remembered he’d taken a bullet. She drifted down the corridors, head surprisingly empty of pretty much anything. The world had come to life around her, vibrations bouncing back from the walls and the floor beneath her feet, but it was muted, fading into the background as she fought to hold onto the idea of where she was going. She heard the voices coming from Yoyo’s room.

“So, he’s locked up now?” Mack’s sincere voice floated over to her.

“It’s for the best,” Jemma replied.

If Daisy hadn’t felt so empty, she might have hesitated outside the door, worried about intruding after hearing them talk of Fitz. Instead she wandered closer and lingered in the doorway. Jemma was bent over Mack’s leg to redress his wound. Elena was the first to spot her, and gave her a quick smile, “Hey.”

Daisy just nodded, not really registering what she had said. Her brain felt a little sluggish, no doubt coming down from the adrenalin high. They all looked fine. That was good. Jemma looked up, casting her a quick, very tight smile. It wasn’t very reassuring. They needed to rest, she should leave. She turned and left, only just catching Jemma’s fleeting sentence about first aid kits.

It was like she was on autopilot as she ventured towards the supply room, the same one she and Deke had been taking stock from. That seemed a long while ago. The supply room was empty, everyone else besides the team had gone to bed. May, Coulson and Piper weren’t back yet. She grabbed the last kit, and hesitated, biting her lip. She didn’t want to go back to her bunk and pass the spot with the “faulty” cameras and she didn’t want to be alone either. She resolved to stay up at wait for Coulson to get back, finding comfort in the solidity of the task.

Agent Davis was on watch tonight, but it looked like he’d gone on a bathroom break. She didn’t think twice about sinking into his seat, although if it was to be owned by anyone, it would be hers. Placing the kit on the desk she rummaged through for bandages, hands lingering over the needle and surgical thread. She shouldn’t really do it on her own, but she didn’t know what she’d say to Jemma. A quick glance at the monitors told her that Jemma was headed to visit Fitz anyway. With a sigh she opened the sterilised package containing the needle, moving her hair out of the way, just as Davis came back.

His eyes widened when he did, “Agent Johnson, you shouldn’t be doing by yourself!” He stepped forward, “I’m medically trained. I can help.”

Daisy swallowed, glancing up to him. Mouth tight, she nodded, letting him step up to her. She kept a keen eye on him as he snapped the gloves on and picked up the needle. She tensed, fighting to calm her breathing like May had taught her. She flinched violently as soon as he touched her shoulder and moved close to her neck, out of sight.

The building shook with an unexpected quake. Davis held his hands up, a little bit of fear in his eyes. She sighed.

“You’re relieved of duty tonight, Agent Davis. I’ll take it from here.”

“You really shouldn’t-”

“Take a break,” She snapped. He quickly backed away, hurriedly ridding himself of the gloves.

“Yes, Agent Johnson.” He replied, scarpering from the room.

She knew he meant well, but as soon as those gloves hands went near her... She wasn’t in the mood to fight anyone tonight. She was done relatively quickly, with only a few winces. Although it wasn’t pleasant, she had to secretly admit that it felt good to do something herself.

She sat back, setting to the task of cleaning the dried blood off her neck with antiseptic wipes as she glanced at the security feeds. Jemma was still talking to Fitz, and Mack had climbed into bed with Elena, who was resting her cheek on his chest. Deke was in the supply room, rifling through the cereal selections. It would have been funny, had her mind been filled with anything else but the feel of a scalpel digging into her skin. There was a deep routed pain starting to develop around her spine and she fought to find a comfortable position in the office chair. It was going to be a long night.

She rested her eyes, briefly, before getting too anxious and sitting up, eyes scanning the room. A glance at the monitor let her know Fitz was still in his cell. It was…safe? She didn’t know if that was something she’d feel here anymore. Not in the same way. She suddenly felt very lonely, lonelier than she had felt in _a long_ time, not even since being enslaved by the Kree. At least then there as some hope. At least then Fitz had come to _save_ them.

The sound of a voice clearing came from the doorway. She startled, glancing towards the door, and relaxed a little after seeing it was Deke. He was holding a box of Cap’n Crunch, which he shook in his hand, making the contents rumble against the cardboard.

“I, er, I saw you eating these before,” he began, wandering cautiously into the room, “Thought you might like some Cap’ns to Crunch on.”

She didn’t say anything, didn’t really know _what_ to say. Which some might argue was unusual for her. He set the box on the desk with a flourish, keeping his distance and sidling away from the cerealdramatically. She didn’t miss the fleeting glance he shot at the bloodied gloves she’d left on the desk.

He gave her a mock salute, like the old guy on the front of the package. “I’ll see myself out, got some kips to get in.” He frowned, “Is that the word? Or is that some kind of fish?” He caught himself, seeing Daisy’s blank expression, “I’ll go.”

Before he could completely make it out the door, Daisy found her voice enough to give him a quiet, “Thank you.”

His eyes and smile were sincere as he acknowledged her, before disappearing around the corridor. Daisy reached out for the box, small smile on her face as she popped it open and ripped into the package.

Now, all that was left to do was to wait.

**

The hanger sensors beeped – May and Coulson were back, hopefully with some good news and a captured Hale. Her heart surged, waiting for them to walk through. May came first, and she stood up to greet her. A big part of her wanted to rush into her arms, feel the security of someone holding her tight, the solidity of May’s presence but she hesitated. May wasn’t the type to give out hugs, and her face looked stern, worried.

It was too late.

“Coulson’s gone.” 

“Wha-? _How_?”

May moved forward, moving over to the main controls as she brought up their location. “It was a set-up. Hale had co-ordinated the entire thing, leaked her own co-ordinates. Creel was there and The Superior, they’ve taken him somewhere.”

“Didn’t you fight? How did they manage to take him?”

May pursed her lips tight.

“We were trapped. He went so the base wouldn’t be harmed.”

Daisy moved to join her by the controls, letting her hair fall over her neck in the hope that May wouldn’t see the wound as she typed. Although a part of her rationalised that finding Coulson was more important, and she didn’t want to stress May out. Another, quieter, more forbidden part of her wanted May to notice and offer some kind of solace.

“I can bring up the security feeds from the Quinjet, see if she has any tells...”

May had gone quiet. Daisy turned to look at her, following May’s eyes to the bloodied first aid kit supplies she had yet to dispose of.

Daisy tensed.

“Daisy?” Mat said slowly, cautiously, “What happened?”

Daisy closed her eyes, breathing out a sigh, “Fitz took out the inhibitor.”

May frowned, “But I thought the risks were too high-”

“Well, I thought so too.” Daisy muttered, hugging her arms to herself as she stared down at the ground, “The fear rift had reopened, Fitz had to find a way to close it. I guess something in him broke and the Doctor just sort of…came out. I was blindsided. He restrained me and took it away, used my power to compress the Gravitonium. He sounded like the Doctor, but it was him. It was Fitz.”

She tried to distance herself from it, to describe what happened as if it hadn’t been her. She couldn’t look May in the eye, didn’t want to confront how she felt. Not yet. Not when her neck still stung and her back ached.

“You can ask Simmons for the details.” She muttered.

May sighed, placing a hand on Daisy’s shoulder to get eye-contact, “Get a few hours, freshen up and then we’ll deal with this, okay?” She was stern, no room for argument.

Daisy nodded, trying not to resent the fact that May thought this was something that could just be healed with some sleep. Not that sleep seemed likely at all.

 

**

 

_She was back in that room. The one with the four panelled walls, the two-way mirror, the table. She pressed herself further into the corner, Radcliffe’s screams to echoed through the grate._

_Suddenly Fitz was there. It wasn’t Dr. Fitz. It was her Fitz, he had his shaggy hair, messy shirt, no tie._

_“Fitz,” She called out, relieved. He stood there. Staring. He didn’t say anything at all. It was unnerving. Another scream came through the wall._

_“You have to help me-”_

_“I don’t,” He interrupted._

_“What? Fitz-”_

_“Keeping you here is the safest thing possible,” he reasoned and began pacing. Her eyes followed him, body tensing. Everything ached from the beating, she could still feel the dried blood on her face. But her neck hurt the most – a sharp digging pain._

_“I don’t understand-”_

_“No, you don’t,” Fitz said, crouching down to her level, “You don’t understand.”_

_His tone was condescending, and she had never seen so much hatred in his eyes._

_“We need you here, to stop the end of the world,” he explained, “I can’t let you out. You’re a danger, Daisy. The Destroyer of Worlds.”_

_“Don’t call me that.”_

_He stood up abruptly._

_“These gentlemen here will help you see the truth,” he said, walking away from her. The door opened, revealing two men in combat gear. She gaped at Fitz, pressing herself back into the wall. He was gone. The men grabbed her roughly by the arms-_

_She was lying on a table. On her side, she could sense something at her back, but she couldn’t see anything. The room was dark, one bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. She squinted at the bare brick wall ahead of her. It was the only thing she could see. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t turn her head to hear what was making the rustling sound behind her._

_“Skye…” the voice was disembodied and echoed around the room. She fought to move anywhere but her muscles wouldn’t co-operate. Something cold touched her neck. She could only stare at the wall, where she could now make out a symbol. It was a skull supported by eight legs._

_A figure suddenly rose up in the darkness, silhouetted by the light. He had square shoulders and an upturned collar. His eyes pierced through the darkness, just as a hand came to rest on her head,_

_“Try and make yourself as comfortable as possible.”_

Daisy jolted awake, kicking away her duvet as she fought to keep her breathing under control. Her heart pumped wildly, and she reached out blindly to turn on the bedside lamp. She couldn’t find it and panicked, before realising that the contents of the table had fallen to the floor. She had no doubt lost control of her powers in the night.

She felt better with the light, although never one to be afraid of the dark, it was better to be able to see everything around her. Make sure no-one could sneak up on her. Shuffling over to the door she made a quick check that the room was locked, before settling back into bed and pulling out her laptop, unwilling to subject herself to more nightmares.

She was more than ready when May came by the knock on her door and request a meeting in the control room. She had already showered and dressed and had been pacing, trying to push down the anger that threatened to rock the boat on her self-control.

She missed Coulson. And the Bus. And when her only worry was finding her parents, not destroying the world.

**

Daisy closed her eyes, leaning back in the office chair to try and absorb the information dumped on her by May.

“Daisy?” May called from her place by the controls, “Daisy did you hear me?”

She sighed, leaning back to stare at the ceiling and come back to the present.

“Yeah I heard you. I’m just thinking it through.” She replied and sat up with another sigh to face May, “…Strucker’s escape, Anton, Creel…”

“And her connection to General Fischer.” May finished, bringing up his ID info.

“Hale is Hydra,” she exclaimed, disbelieving, and pauses to think, cocking her head, “Hale Hydra?” She scoffs, “ _Seriously?_ ”

She succeeded in getting May to smile and shake her head a little. Another sigh, it was all so ridiculous, “How are we _still_ fighting nazi’s today?”

May didn’t take the bait, “More importantly, why does she need Coulson?”

Coulson. They needed him back _, she_ needed him back. “Okay,” she began pacing, racking her brains for the answer May was pressing her to give, “I don’t even know where to start. Obviously we have to get ahead of her, but we have no leads because everyone in Hydra is locked up,” her frustration was building the more she tried to think of a solution when there wasn’t one, “but we can’t question them without false documents, which I can’t get without resources-” Running out of breath, and slightly panicked she rambles, “So there’s no, there’s-“

“Hey!” Her former SO interjected, facing her head-on, with that stern expression that worked well when she was training under her. But not now, not when everything had gone to hell.

 “Coulson chose you for a reason. Take a breath. This is just another fight.”

Daisy wanted to scream, to remind her that _she_ hadn’t chosen to lead. That she didn’t want to have to take charge, not when everything was out of her control. She crosses her arms instead, keeping it all in.

 “No, it’s not.” She reminded May, “I can’t _quake_ this away.”

“ _Remember_ combat training. Take what you have, use it to your advantage.” She walked away back to the controls, Daisy following her – less than impressed by her pep talk.

“We have nothing,” She reinstated, trying to get May to understand how desperate, how out of control of every situation they were.

May’s answer, to her credit, is unexpected, “We have a super villain.”

And she leaves, leaving Daisy stunned in her wake. She collapsed into the chair, hand splayed over her face, feeling a sob almost rise out of her before she squashes it down. Not now. She grabs a tablet and follows in May’s wake.

**

“Go on, let’s get it over with. Tell me that I can’t be trusted anymore.” She heard Fitz’s matter of fact voice through the security feeds, bristling at the sight of him. _No,_ she thinks, she can’t trust him, not when he’s willing to torture her for the greater good. That was a Hydra play.

“You forget that I was Hydra in the framework too. I know how this works. I made decisions I regret.”

Daisy knew that was how they all felt – Mack, May, Coulson, Fitz, all of those who hadn’t been themselves. She had overheard Mack contemplating how tricky it was in there. She tried to understand, she really did, but now it was impossible to separate either Fitz in her mind. It was like the Doctor had come back to haunt her.

“This isn’t the Framework. And, truthfully…I don’t regret it. Just how it had to be done.”

 _That_ , that makes her feel sick.

It felt like a punch in the gut. As if she hadn’t faced Fitz’s sadistic smile as he told her he _wanted_ his guards to beat her, taze her. As he told her that torturing Inhumans _had_ to be done to keep the public safe. When he’d polished his shoes before slapping her in the face. Then for him to come back, wearing _her_ Fitz’s face, wearing _his_ clothes, _his_ hair as he clamped her head in a vice. The chilling way he’d told her to get comfortable before cutting into her. _Her_ Fitz waking up, sound of mind but _still_ agreeing to stick to the plan. That _had_ to be done. Her pain didn’t matter, her consent didn’t matter, he had rip out the tendrils from her spine. Her begging didn’t matter.

_I don’t regret it._

That _she_ didn’t matter?

**

She was on a quinjet heading for Robin’s location. It wasn’t the best of her ideas and she knew it was leading them down a dangerous path, but what choice did she have? This was the only answer they had. She knew May didn’t approve but if May wanted her to lead than she had to deal with the direction it took them in.

She knew May was disproving of every move she’d made so far, and she tried not to make it hurt as much as it did. She saw her reasoning, she always did, but this time it was hard to see past the turmoil running amok on her emotions. She couldn’t handle Fitz right now, probably shouldn’t have stooped to his level and quaked him but didn’t have the strength to ignore his taunts.

_“Do you want me to recount all the times that you did?” _

She wanted to forget it, chalk it down to the mess of the situation, but he was right. God how she didn’t want him to be, but he was. She’d messed up in the past, betrayed the team in a drugged-up stupor that had ultimately killed Lincoln. Was she simply serving penance for those things now?

_Penance._

She reached out, placed the quinjet on autopilot and grabbed her phone, dialling a number she doubted would go through. To her surprise, it did.

“Robbie Reyes?” He enquired. She couldn’t help the small smirk that formed on her lips,

“Long time no see, ghost boy,” she replied.

“Daisy.” He said simply, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She stalled, “Just checking in. How’s your path of vengeance?”

“It’s going good, you know, getting some good cardio, burning off calories, riding with the devil,” he toyed, “What’s it to you?”

“Oh, you know, just…bored.”

“Bored? I didn’t know secret spies had the time for boredom.”

“Yeah,” Daisy agreed, “It’s not often.”

“So, what are you up to? Haven’t heard from you in a while. Last I checked you were wanted fugitives from the government.”

“Oh, same old, same old,” Daisy replied, “Coulson’s gone. Hydra’s back. We were send to the future where I became enslaved to a blue alien because apparently I destroy the world. Got dog-tagged by the creepy blue guy in charge which apparently stopped my powers. Shit happened, we got sent _back_ to the present, where we opened a rift to a fear dimension where creepy nuns were let loose. And then to top it all off,” she had managed to keep her tone light and playful, but couldn’t help her voice cracking, “Fitz, he, uh, he-”

A tear fell down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away, trying to pull herself together.

“What did Fitz do?” Robbie asked warily, because if Daisy can tell him all of that without so much as blinking an eye, this would be something terrible.

“It’s complicated. I mean we all took a hit after the VR-game-that-went-wrong, and his plan to close the dimension worked, even if I might still end up destroying the world so-”

 “Daisy?” he asked again, voice grave, “What happened?”

“He decided he really wanted to play Operation, so he uh, he drugged me, tied me up and cut the implant out.”

She held her breath, waiting for him to tell her that it was the right thing for Fitz to do to close the rift and that she shouldn’t be upset because he’d had a psychic split. That her getting her powers back was the best solution. That it was the only way. That she should get it together because Coulson was dying and had chosen her to lead-

“ _Dios mio_ , are you okay?”

Daisy realised that was first time someone had cared if she was okay.

 

_And she wasn’t._


End file.
